“I don’t have fucking time for a psycho right now! ” photo Fest day 8


It’s day 8 of the February Photo Fest challenge.  I’m choosing to have my photos tell a horror story,  a gay whore story if you will.  If you haven’t been following along might I suggest you start atChapter 1

Chapter 8 of MAD HOUSE


Gage was feeling almost human,  which wasn’t as good of a sign as you think it might be.

After watching an old sex tape he and Cum Bucket had made (way before he was a stereotypical 80’s slasher and when Cum Bucket still had a name he could use at the DMV) Gage began to experience unfamiliar sensations.

You might be familiar with feelings like happiness,  sadness and regret but Gage got rid of any real feelings he felt awhile back.  He still felt your more basic emotions but they were more like Diet Feelings.  For Example, Diet Happiness still felt like it might be related to regular happiness  (In theory) but it had zero calories and caused cancer in lab rats. Also when Gage felt anything stronger than mildly pleasant, mildly violent or mildly rapey it rarely turned out good for anyone.

He started to get very excited about all the  not as cruel as usual things he wanted to say and do when he unchained Cum Bucket (Jacob ,A voice in his head whispered).

So when Gage walked down the cellar stairs and that fucking deceptive BITCH, FAG, CUNT, wasn’t locked up and waiting Gage saw red. blindingly Bright electric red!” “I’m going to gut him like a teenage street hooker” he said aloud, his body twitching.

“”You always go right to gutting them, ” a familiar voice said from behind him.

It was his sister! What the fuck! “I told you in an email what you needed to do if you want to rejoin the family.  Until then you don’t get a dime of our family money. ”

“No hi, how you doing?” She asked .”  What’s it like when Nobody Knows that they should be very Afraid of you?  How many livers have you Destroyed this week? ”

“So how many livers have you Destroyed this week? ” Gage teased,  knowing she meant to say lives or maybe lovers but the spell check changed it making her look stupid.

“No wonder you need to brainwash and torture the weak just so they will be your dog”

“Where the fuck is my Cum Bucket? ” Gage shouted, way overreacting.

“Relax, he’s helping me work on that project you wanted done. Big brother,”  she said with More than a little resentment in her voice. “That cruel pointless project that’s just meant to punish me. ”

“I had to do out when I came back” he almost whined.

“And look how fucked up that turned out, ” she almost pleaded.

“Go back to your pretend life!” He snapped waking up the stairs once again.  ” You lose out on the power of being feared, the massive amounts of money and an outlet for your dark side (and I know you have a very dark side, sister) but you walk away with true love.  You’ll be a destitute nobody,  but think of all the love!” He almost choked on his own vomit and He could feel her flipping his back off while he went by.

Gage ducked into a bathroom to think.  That was a truly weak reaction he told himself. Completely childlike.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the glass in the mirror begin to change. It began to swirl about and make interesting colors. Either a portal to Hell was opening or he was warming up for his bi annual psychotic break. He liked how good ass looked in Hell though.

He knew what would come next. Who would come next


” You can’t really let her back into the family !” A demonic voice growled.  “She’ll find a way to steal the power and the money and your place at the head of the family. ”  If was his father in the mirror telling him what he should do,  from Hell. Or his schizophrenia talking.  It s probably Hell.


“Don’t talk down like I’m retarded” Gage snapped at the old man. ” I know what I have to do,”

The sister banged on the bathroom door ” we don’t have time for a fucking psycho right now!” She said. Go take your meds, you aren’t going crazy tonight. Save  it  for another day Loony Tunes!”

Fucking cunt


Porn Clerk Shift Notes–the month so far. October

I have a Facebook group called porn clerk cult leader where I post little odd and ends from work. Here are a few from earlier this month

—Reason1 why tonight was a real winner. The roof at work leaks and the buckets need dumped i every 20 minutes or they flood the DVD room

—-Reason #2 why tonight was super awesome.

I hooked up with an older”straight” guy who had never been with a guy before after work the other day. Of course he wanted fucked. I could tell he was straight by How clean he was. I left him in the booth to have a cigarette and when I came back he must have gotten super high because he had gone crazy. Making weird noises, snapping at me. My boss was trying to get him to leave because he wasn’t putting money in the booth. I ended up just leaving while he was in the bathroom.

Tonight he called me at work and was mother fucker this and mother fucker that.

“Who are you?” I ask

“You know who I am. You fucked me in a booth last week”

“Well that narrows it down about five people.” I say.

I figure out who it is, he says he is going be at my work at midnight, he’s not mad at me, blah blah.

“That’s not a good idea” I say. ” You shouldn’t do that.”

He gets mad. Starts to threaten me ( did I mention he recently got out of a 9 year prison stint for bank robbery?). I tell him if he shows up at my work he’s gonna be leaving with the police and hang up

Then a bunch of shit happens and the owner of my store calls pissed at me ( I’ll tell you about that later if I have anymore typing left in me) and then crazy mother fucker calls again.

He wants to apologize for how he acted and He’s will meet me  at my work at midnight and we are going to have so much fun together. He wants to suck my dick, please let him explain…”

“We hooked up. Hookups don’t call my work and give me a whole bunch of shit to deal with. Hookups don’t do ANYTHING. I have a partner. I don’t need this hassle from some guy I fucked. I don’t keep hooking up with the same person. That causes problems for my real relationship. You need to go away”

Then he starts threatening me and I hang up

–Tomorrow is only like the MOST important day of the year. It’s like Halloween, Christmas, and Arbor Day all rolled into one! It’s National Custodial Workers Day! Along side my work as a porn clerk I also have my own Custodial business called Wicked Clean and that means tomorrow is my Day bitches!!

People all over the world come together to show their appreciation for the good men and women who work tirelessly to clean up the cum from the arcade floors and empty the trash cans full of piss and remove the endless amount of women’s lingerie and vegetables with condoms on them so you can have a relatively staph free experience at the glory holes.

If you haven’t been thoughtful enough to throw me a Custodial themed surprise party or you haven’t started a crowd sourcing fund to get me my own janitorial cart then the least you can do… And i mean the very least is make me a card or send me a thoughtful hooker.

Some famous custodians include Freddy Kruger , Schneider from”inner day at a time” and groundskeeper Willie.

An annoying fuck just did the “what’s your managers name? What’s your name bullshit” I’m so glad I don’t have to be nice to the customers if they don’t deserve it.
He’s in the theater and he wants me to change the movie… What is this three times now? I had a gay movie on and he came out and said the others guys didn’t care what they watched and he wanted something with women.
First off I hate it when they ask other people if they can change the movie. People feel obligated. So I put in a bi movie. But now he points to a tranny movie and says ” what are they? I want one of those!”

No. I put a bi movie on. I’m not changing it again. Not everyone likes tranny movies. When there’s a disagreement I put a bi movie on, that way nobody is happy.

He argued with me for about five minutes. By now there’s nothing he can say to change my mind. So he started in with the what’s your managers name crap.

Then he wants back in the theater after I go out to smoke. I told him he could knock or wait. So he waited staring at me the entire time I smoked.

He just left “thanks a lot. I just threw away five dollars”

Yeah thank-you. Now my neck hurts and I’m in a suck ass mood


Are there girls at the glory holes?

I think one of the ghosts is a girl. It wails like a girl but it could just be a really gay ghost.


A regular customer…an older rugged manly man was in yesterday. He stepped up to the counter and I thought he said something like “hello Mr. Wonderful.”

He’s in a good mood I thought. He’s usually so reserved. I was like “thank you, I’m doing good.”

He was a little confused. He had asked me for a bottle of Mr. Wonderful. He didn’t care how I was doing nor did he think I was that wonderful.

I laughed so fucking hard for about five minutes

Porn Clerk Shift Notes for 10/20/16

-I forgot to write about the hilarity that happened here last week. Thank God it wasn’t on my shift but I got to watch the video on porn clerk TV.

A man…a black man… Came into the store and slowly started taking off articles of clothing. He was asked to leave. But first he went into the bathroom and did as big number 2 with the door open, didn’t wipe and then went out in the parking lot where there is a big lake of water that won’t drain… And proceeded to get totally naked and take a bath using the toilet scrub brush he stole from the bathroom.
The police were called and thankfully they didn’t shoot him


-Somebody got sick in the back preview booth. It smells so bad. Is it shit? Is it puke? Both? I don’t want to clean it up. Don’t make me. I know I’ll save it for the janitor. Oh fuck that’s me


  • b busybody customer wanted me to come in the back and look through the glory hole at another customer who was basically jerking off weird.

“Is he shooting up?” I ask


“Is he having a seizure?”

I don’t know he could be.

He wasn’t. He was just jerking off like the weirdo he is.