I just assumed Satan would have a bigger cock

I’m not saying you have a small cock.

I mean it’s nice and thick.

It’s above average for a human.slightly.

a white one .

My dog has one like it.

His is a bit bigger but he’s a big dog

Don’t go getting your feelings all twisted up,

I didn’t say I didn’t like it

. I do.

It’s very red and bumpy.

You’ve been checked for STD’s, right?

Maybe you should.

 I just assumed that Satan would have a more…i don’t know a more satanic cock.

I don’t owe you my soul for this do I?

because I feel if anybody owes somebody something I’m kinda the one on my knees here.

Who cares what i think anyway, I’m some kind of fucking clown

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Through the Looking-Glass – the Sinful Sunday Photo

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Alice looked into the Strange World he saw reflected  in the Looking Glass.

It was so completely different than the way his world really looked that he knew it couldn’t very well be real.

The light was so clear and bright and terrifying.

“However is one expected to hide from the Jabberwocky or the Bloody Marys or even the annoying baby drinking bugs. Those slow stupid roaches were such failures at hunting that the only fluid they ever hoped to drink was from unattended babies.

Alice had recently lost a younger sibling to those pests, but if truth be told he hadn’t tried very hard to save it. Not really .

Alice wasn’t a stupid boy. the world reflected the looking glass wasn’t real. Not as real as The Mad Monk  fever he was undoubtedly suffering from as that was the only thing that could explain his current hallucination.

The only thing left to do was to find a high spot to lay where the centipedes wouldn’t eat him until after his brain had melted.

 

Check out the rest the sinful Sunday sinners by clicking on the lips

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Porn Clerk Shift Notes–the month so far. October

I have a Facebook group called porn clerk cult leader where I post little odd and ends from work. Here are a few from earlier this month

—Reason1 why tonight was a real winner. The roof at work leaks and the buckets need dumped i every 20 minutes or they flood the DVD room

—-Reason #2 why tonight was super awesome.

I hooked up with an older”straight” guy who had never been with a guy before after work the other day. Of course he wanted fucked. I could tell he was straight by How clean he was. I left him in the booth to have a cigarette and when I came back he must have gotten super high because he had gone crazy. Making weird noises, snapping at me. My boss was trying to get him to leave because he wasn’t putting money in the booth. I ended up just leaving while he was in the bathroom.

Tonight he called me at work and was mother fucker this and mother fucker that.

“Who are you?” I ask

“You know who I am. You fucked me in a booth last week”

“Well that narrows it down about five people.” I say.

I figure out who it is, he says he is going be at my work at midnight, he’s not mad at me, blah blah.

“That’s not a good idea” I say. ” You shouldn’t do that.”

He gets mad. Starts to threaten me ( did I mention he recently got out of a 9 year prison stint for bank robbery?). I tell him if he shows up at my work he’s gonna be leaving with the police and hang up

Then a bunch of shit happens and the owner of my store calls pissed at me ( I’ll tell you about that later if I have anymore typing left in me) and then crazy mother fucker calls again.

He wants to apologize for how he acted and He’s will meet me  at my work at midnight and we are going to have so much fun together. He wants to suck my dick, please let him explain…”

“We hooked up. Hookups don’t call my work and give me a whole bunch of shit to deal with. Hookups don’t do ANYTHING. I have a partner. I don’t need this hassle from some guy I fucked. I don’t keep hooking up with the same person. That causes problems for my real relationship. You need to go away”

Then he starts threatening me and I hang up

–Tomorrow is only like the MOST important day of the year. It’s like Halloween, Christmas, and Arbor Day all rolled into one! It’s National Custodial Workers Day! Along side my work as a porn clerk I also have my own Custodial business called Wicked Clean and that means tomorrow is my Day bitches!!

People all over the world come together to show their appreciation for the good men and women who work tirelessly to clean up the cum from the arcade floors and empty the trash cans full of piss and remove the endless amount of women’s lingerie and vegetables with condoms on them so you can have a relatively staph free experience at the glory holes.

If you haven’t been thoughtful enough to throw me a Custodial themed surprise party or you haven’t started a crowd sourcing fund to get me my own janitorial cart then the least you can do… And i mean the very least is make me a card or send me a thoughtful hooker.

Some famous custodians include Freddy Kruger , Schneider from”inner day at a time” and groundskeeper Willie.


An annoying fuck just did the “what’s your managers name? What’s your name bullshit” I’m so glad I don’t have to be nice to the customers if they don’t deserve it.
He’s in the theater and he wants me to change the movie… What is this three times now? I had a gay movie on and he came out and said the others guys didn’t care what they watched and he wanted something with women.
First off I hate it when they ask other people if they can change the movie. People feel obligated. So I put in a bi movie. But now he points to a tranny movie and says ” what are they? I want one of those!”

No. I put a bi movie on. I’m not changing it again. Not everyone likes tranny movies. When there’s a disagreement I put a bi movie on, that way nobody is happy.

He argued with me for about five minutes. By now there’s nothing he can say to change my mind. So he started in with the what’s your managers name crap.

Then he wants back in the theater after I go out to smoke. I told him he could knock or wait. So he waited staring at me the entire time I smoked.

He just left “thanks a lot. I just threw away five dollars”

Yeah thank-you. Now my neck hurts and I’m in a suck ass mood

 


Are there girls at the glory holes?

I think one of the ghosts is a girl. It wails like a girl but it could just be a really gay ghost.

 


A regular customer…an older rugged manly man was in yesterday. He stepped up to the counter and I thought he said something like “hello Mr. Wonderful.”

He’s in a good mood I thought. He’s usually so reserved. I was like “thank you, I’m doing good.”

He was a little confused. He had asked me for a bottle of Mr. Wonderful. He didn’t care how I was doing nor did he think I was that wonderful.

I laughed so fucking hard for about five minutes

Porn Clerk Shift Notes for 10/20/16

-I forgot to write about the hilarity that happened here last week. Thank God it wasn’t on my shift but I got to watch the video on porn clerk TV.

A man…a black man… Came into the store and slowly started taking off articles of clothing. He was asked to leave. But first he went into the bathroom and did as big number 2 with the door open, didn’t wipe and then went out in the parking lot where there is a big lake of water that won’t drain… And proceeded to get totally naked and take a bath using the toilet scrub brush he stole from the bathroom.
The police were called and thankfully they didn’t shoot him

 

-Somebody got sick in the back preview booth. It smells so bad. Is it shit? Is it puke? Both? I don’t want to clean it up. Don’t make me. I know I’ll save it for the janitor. Oh fuck that’s me

 

  • b busybody customer wanted me to come in the back and look through the glory hole at another customer who was basically jerking off weird.

“Is he shooting up?” I ask

No

“Is he having a seizure?”

I don’t know he could be.

He wasn’t. He was just jerking off like the weirdo he is.

 

 

Fuck my Mangina and other Gross Sex Words


Ok the only time I’ve ever heard a guy’s hole referred to as a mangina was by a drag queen and on the box of an unfortunately named sex toy we sell at my work. In case it’s not obvious I never want to hear “Fuck my mangina” while naked and sweaty with some guy. No  “eat my mangina,” “you’re  making my mangina wet,” or  “my mangina is taking over the world.” It’s a gross word that makes me feel gross. If you’ve really got to say something that means “my ass is my pussy” then just say pussy. That’s not really my kink but it doesn’t make me have to decide between laughing hysterically or throwing up.

What I’m saying that words and language are important. When used during sex words have the power to crank things up a few notches or take the other person (or persons, I don’t know how many people you’re talking dirty to at a time) completely out of the moment.

I may just be speaking for myself, which is the only one I’m ever really speaking for, but I don’t find the clinical names for body parts all that arousing either. That includes penis, vagina and anus. I’ve heard guys use those words as though those particular words turned them to say. I’ve also heard the words “hail Satan” and pedo used because they made person who spoke them feel sick and perverted so maybe using the proper names does something in a similar way. I don’t know but they aren’t sexy.

As bad as penis is pee pee and wiener are so so so much worse. Unless you are role playing as a very young child those words don’t work. They just sounds silly, but not good silly. Bad and gross silly.

While we are on the subject of words that turn me off. There is a whole family of words that some men use on phone lines and sometimes online that I find gross but they seem to use religiously like a manta or line of Scripture they grew up memorizing

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “big German helmet, thick veiny shaft, and low hanging balls.”  I don’t mean I’ve heard variations on that description. I mean heard that exact description hundreds of times, mostly on those phone sex chat lines. They must have all heard it used And liked it. Personally it brings up a very ugly dick and balls in my mind. The kind you don’t brag about.

I was reading a porn review in one of the industry magazines at work that seemed written just to make my boner go away. Far far away. While describing an anal sex scene the reviewer used the word poop chute, pooper,anus and I think maybe even the Hershey highway. The guy was obviously and not so secretly into scat.But I’m not. I don’t want to be reminded of the biological purpose for the butt hole while my mouth is down there. I suspect not that many people do, except of course for yo scat Queens out there. Those are not sexy words. Poop is the last, and I mean the very last thing I want to think about during anal sex. I think the reviewer had it out for someone involved in that project and was trying to tank the movie. In my case, it worked.

Use your dirty word wisely people. Use them wisely.

Encore

The dance was supposed to end.

It should have ended.

A thousand years of letting  something else pull my strings until one by one those strings break or are purposely broken. This is a long time to go with no control. No free will. No input on the playlist.

Maybe it’s only been five minutes. I don’t have a watch.

When the last fucking string breaks the dance will end

I hope.

It has too.

I can’t listen to Abba one more fucking time.

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Here is the original photo I got the second chance with.

 

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Go see how those other dirty sinners are using their second chances

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