Scavenger Hunt – naked in front of a convienence store

If like to suggest a new location for the naked scavenger hunt, as didn’t really see an option to fit. On my way home from the naked bike ride on Saturday I got my picture taken naked in front of the 7/11.

I would have gotten many more pictures of many other places but me and my partner got separated ten minutes into the bike ride so I had no one to stop and take pictures at the various places. I did get a few and her I’d the one I hope gets a new location… convenience store.


Down the Manhole- meet the pervs on on the most perverted gay phone sex line

I’m very curious about pretty much all things sexual. I especially love finding out about other people’s sex lives, secret fantasies, deep dark secrets and anything that can be described as kinky, fetish, perverted. Ok I’m a pervert. A pervert for other people’s perversions. Thats one of the reasons I sometimes like to call the Manhole. It’s a free phone sex line that is filled with weird wacky extreme sex talk. It’s a nation wide number so it’s not really the kind of venue that you would use to actually hook up with someone.

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Also you have to keep in mind that nearly 95% of what guys say on there is bullshit. It’s complete fantasy, or at least that has  been my general impression. From the 11 inch cocks to the stories about being pedophille priests you just have to assume it is all made up. So you shouldn’t get too excited or get yourself in a protector of the innocent cap on. When guys get high or in a certain mood they get off on talking about being the worst thing they can think about being. For example for a guy who was raised Christian the worst thing they can imagine being is a Satanist so you get a lot of “Hail Satan 666” talk from them. It might sound shocking but in fact, for me at least, is super boring.  It’s basically that same mantra said over and over again with some allegiances to the Dark Lord thrown in now and then. It’s the same with all the pedo, necro, rape etc. talk that comes up. I think for a lot of them it’s a way to get out their dark side and hopefully has no relation to who they are in real life. And it doesn’t hurt anybody.

Not everybody uses the line as a release to their dark sides though. Certain themes seem to pop up a lot. A lot of dudes like to talk about “bating with Albolene”. Bating is short for masturbatingand it ususlly implies that they are edging. Edging is when you jerk off for hours (or days)before you finally cum. And Albolene is a makeup remover which is creamy in texture that makes a cheap lube. I have no clue why that comes up as often as it does. But it does.

You also get a lot of guys who like to describe the measurement for every possiblle body part that can be measured. Those messages can go on for days. Those guys are usually into talking about body building and gaining muscle mass and shit like that.

Basically you call the line, record a greeting and start listening to messages. You can either send messages back and forth to each other or press 3 and go one on one in a live chat. The best part is that when you get bored or annoyed or horrified you can always hit another button and make a quick exit back to the main message board.

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I recorded a general sample of messages that I heard earlier tonight while on the line. Wanna read some? Here they go.

1.hey guys. masculine nudist masturbater here. Really horny here. Stripped down, totally naked stroking my hard 8 inch cock here. Into talking with other buddies doing the same. Into open masturbation, open nudity, being comfortable in our own skin. Definitely into body hair, pubic hair, just guys hanging out doing what guys do. I’m stripped down, stroking my dick and looking for other buddies doing the same.

2. Hi bi muscular guy here. 6″3′ 225. Looking for a young bi boy who can come over and fuck my wife’s pussy.

3. Hey guys. 23 yo college guy looking to chat. I’m 5’11” have blonde hair blue eyes. weigh 163. nice masculine body. nice tight bubble ass. 7 inches cut.Just want to talk to hot guys who know what they want and know how to get it. Lets talk.

4. yeah beefy hair muscle(bunch of measurements, arms, chest, dicks, thighs, calfs). love to wrestle for domination with other masculine guys. bare back.

5. yeah I’m really into dinosaurs. I want to get fucked by a dinosaur. I want a big t-rex cock deep inside of me. I want to travel back in time or visit Jurassic Park and get fucked by a dinosaur. I want a pterodactyl to swoop down from the sky and snatch me up and take me back to it’s nest and fuck the shit out of me. I just really love dinosaurs.

7. I’m a bottom. A nasty fucking pig bottom. I like to get wet wild, piss, spit. I’m into anything anonymous, bathrooms, glory holes, rest areas. Just sitting back and stroking my cock. message me guys.

8. Just did a big hit. Slammed my morals away. My 8 inch cock is rock hard and leaking pre cum thinking about bonding with another perv, pedo, dad, bi guy. no limits, the nastier, kinkier more perverted the better.

9. I would like to talk about an obsession I have with a friend of mine. His name is (man’s name). Lets get behind closed doors and talk

10. Hi I’m candy. I’m a very passable transexual teenager. I’m looking for a daddy to put me over his knee and use my wet pussy anyway he wants to.

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There you have it. A small sample of the first ten messages I heard when I called the manhole this evening. I left out a lot of the measurements but you can trust that nearly every message included at least the guys cock size. Even candy included her cock size in her message. The dinosaur message was awesome. It was probably just a guy fucking around but it was one I had never heard before which is always a treat because often you hear the same guys using the exact same wording all the time.

Captain Hook Ups Rules To Fuck By- Basic Rules for Hooking Up Online

Hello kids, and by kids I mean anyone over 18 years old. I am Captain Hook Up. But since I don’t want to write out Captain Hook Up every time  I want to write about myself in the third person which I feel I might do a lot, Captain Hookup will refer to himself as Hook for short.

Oh wow, that makes me Captain Hook. I was thinking I’d have more of a super hero identity, a really slutty superhero and not an old pirate whore but you work with what you got.

Continue reading “Captain Hook Ups Rules To Fuck By- Basic Rules for Hooking Up Online”

A quicky with a redhead in the porno theater

Last week a pretty cute guy was in messing around in the arcade and theater.he was telling a regular how cute he thought I was and I love it when people think I’m cute.
I recognized him from a hook up about ten years ago. It wasn’t all that great but neither were the circumstances.whenever he was in the store we would exchange (corny expression in 3…2…1) fleeting glances.When he left I went out for a smoke and just kind of obviously watched him.

About an hour later he came back.We got to talking. We went out back to smoke because there are no cameras on the back porch. We got to making out and feeling each other up. It was hot. I haven’t had a good old fashioned make out session with a guy in who knows how long.
The other day he showed back up at work and went into the theater. Her was the only one in there and it was a slow day. I wentt back there to  “change the garbage bag” and he was naked on a couch with a hard on.It wasn’t big but it wasn’t small either. It was probably 6.5 inches and on the thin side.The kind of cock that was made for face fucking.It was substantial enough to do the job but not so thick that it was going to gag me or cut off my oxygen.
I climbed up into his lap and we started making out. He tried taking off my shirt but I didn’t have the luxury off getting naked.I was sucking his dick when I heard the bell on the front door ring.
When I walked into the store I recognized the customer. He comes in once a week when he is coming into town to see a stripper he has a crush on. His dog recently died and I felt bad for him. He always spends about a half hour shopping for movies and then buys a couple of the big expensive probes or dildos. He regularly spends about $150 and he was just getting started looking at the movies so I figured I could leave him alone for five minutes and he wouldn’t steal or need any help so i went back in the theater.
I started kissing the cute little redhead and he wrapped his legs around my waist unbuttoning my pants. I stood up while holding him and my pants dropped to the ground. I wasn’t wearing underwear and my cock was sticking straight up. I lowered him to the ground and lay him down on the rug.He grabbed my dick and placed the head against his hole. The heat from his ass felt so a good on my cock as I pushed  most of the way inside of him. He must have been pre lubed or he already  had a load of cum in his ass because there was no resistance. That’s the way I like it. I know everybody thinks a guy wants to Fuck a tight virgin, and that can be exciting, but I prefer fucking an ass that doesn’t fight back. I love it when i can pull my cock all the way out and then slam it back in without ever having to use my hand to help guide it.
I fucked him for a few minutes, alternating between looking at his facial expressions and kissing him deep ands hard. I could feel myself getting ready to cum when I heard a  knock at the theater door. It was to late too stop now. I had already reached the point of no return. I came hard, pulled out and started zipping up my pants  while my dick was still shooting the last of my load. I kissed the red head and told him we would play again
I went out into the store, slightly out of breath and with cum running down my leg and started chatting with my customer.

You wanna go to a porn store?

In my city if you want to run out to the nearest sex shop you have plenty  of options and you won’t have to travel far. It might even be within walking distance. I live in a very sexy city. or Is it a  slutty city? Either way we have plenty of sex shops.
We have oodles of them. We also have the most strip clubs pet capita  than anywhere in the country and we got voted kinkiest city by one website or another.
 If you’re nervous about going to “one of those places”  you need to relax. and maybe get out more often. Come down from your beautiful pink castle once in a white princess. Jesus.
For now we can skip the scary and  go to a high end female centric, all inclusive, politically correct sex positive safe space  sexual wellness boutique. Here you can shop for vegan lube, take a class on sexual touching  and buy lesbian porn made by actual  lesbians. Won’t that be nice to she bop to while sipping on non caffeinated herbal tea later?
 we would have to go while it’s still light outside. A shop like that won’t be open at 3am, and it’s not the kind of place one goes to suck a little cock .you don’t go there to suck a  big cock either. Or a black cock or a cock of indeterminate ancestry fort that matter.You don’t go here to suck cock of any length or thickness or nationality or gender. You just don’t suck cock here period pervert.
You could almost describe the vegan women’s collective all natural granola not so nasty shop as being family friendly, assuming your family members are all at least 18 with valid ID . I told you there was nothing to be afraid of. That was just like a visit to Times Square. Times Square with pink vibratiors.
You should know that not all sex shops are  created equal. Way down on the other end of the Porn store rainbow it looks more like the  Times Square of the 1970’s. The key word would be sleazy.
A  kid is standing out front feeling the effects of a recent shot of heroin. He bums a smoke from the dancer next door where a half hour private “dance” only costs you $100!  Across the street a bouncer breaks up a fight between two drunks at the strip club. This diverts  attention from you and you duck into a sex shop that is worlds apart from the first one.
You won’t find the same high quality sex toys  here but if you are interested in cheap porn look no further. DVD covers promise 6+ hours of fucking and sucking with titles such as “there’s a black man in my ass” and “mother’s eat cum too”.  But that’s not all. imagine getting not 1. Not 2. Not 3 but  4 movies for the low low price of $20!
Political correctness is thrown out the window when you walked through those doors.Transsexuals revert back to trannys. Little people star in exploitive midget porn and a recent new release is actually called “there’s a negro in my step daughter!” Obviously there’s no feminist porn in this establishment.
Chances are you probably aren’t here to buy porn or toys anyway. I bet you skip the store and go right back into the arcade where you do a little cruising to see who else has the same idea as you. What idea is that? You ask. you should know if it’s your idea but I’ll tell you anyway.
You’re probably here for the same reason as the spun out little tweaker and the guy with the wedding band on his finger. You’re hoping to find whatever it is that you’re looking for at the other end of the glory hole in one of these video booths. A dick, a mouth or even an ass. Plenty of guys are also hoping to find themselves a little pussy (or big pussy or black pussy yada yada). Good luck with that.
There are other places to find quick anonymous sex but for whatever reason most of these guys like the sleazy, “dangerous”  and unpredictable thrill they get from cruising at the sex shop.
 Until recently I worked as a porn clerk in one of the sleaziest nasty shops in town. I’m still a porn clerk and I’m still at one of the sleazier stores but times they are a changing.
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Two of the stores I worked for were recently bought and sold. We now have products I don’t have to be embarrassed to sell. We have some quality shit man. We have also added a porn theater  with better Porn to the mix. But with these amazing changes have also brought with them cameras. Lots and lots of cameras and microphones. The new owner for some reason doesn’t want me (not just me) having sex with customers while I’m on the clock. And I don’t. As much.
In this blog you will get a glimpse inside the ever changing porn store business as one store tries to keep up with the changing times. You may also learn way to much about my way to active sex life. We can talk about sex of the past as well as the changes constantly happening around the world of sex.
Be warned I will probably have a picture of myself naked, having sex or jerking off every Sunday, or as it’s known to sex bloggers sinful Sunday. You will probably even get to know the crazy fucked up, fucking hot, fucking not, fucking crazy fucks that come through my store everyday.
Until next time. Have fun not regrets.